big storm coming. I went to the HEB and it was a fucking madhouse.
There was no bread, meat, or tortillas.
And the beer and soda supply were dwindling.
I guess we are going to get our share of the hurricane at about 5:00 AM.
People are acting like I should be a whole lot more scared...which scares me a little.
Wish us luck.
I tried to take pictures of "The Stone", but he was elusive, and camera shy,
and they all came out blurry.
My wife said they were blurry because it is too small.
Hmpf...Sorry, It was the best I could muster.
And, considering the path it took (of greatest resistance) it is a boulder.
But, I digress.
It is New Bag Day!! Super!
I think it was Win-Dog Churchill who said
"Nothing is so exhilarating as to be shot at with no result"
Well, I submit that the Winster never drove across 2 counties in Texas with a car full of weed, WITH a bad registration sticker. What a rush! What a dumb thing to do!!
I could have waited until tomorrow, when the car will actually be LEGAL, although, I was out of weed, man.
I don't like being out. I am selfish that way. Among many.
I was a highlight from one of those real life cop shows waiting to happen. I broke the cardinal rule ( You gotta be smart when you are doing stupid shit) but, my guy can't afford gas prices anymore... so when he called me to say he was ready to see me, I jumped at the chance, throwing caution to the wind. Although, it wasn't really that dramatic...I just got in the car, and drove to his house.
It was the dumbest thing I have done, since the stun-gun fiasco--(they DO really work!)
Good thing the farm roads are never patrolled.
Very rarely. Hardly ever.Very seldom.
So, first thing in the morning, I am going to have the car inspected.
And then my wife and I are actually going to leave the house...we are going to dinner at our friend's house. Other than the car stuff, it should be a nice day.
Halle-fucking-lujah!
I "passed" my kidney stone. "Passed" can mean a lot of different things. In this case, it meant a series of agonizing urinations, culminating in a painful finale.
By that same token, "Stone" also has many meanings. In this case, it is more like an arrowhead.
Or a thorny, sharpened Conch shell, with little razors all over it, carrying scissors.
Now, we are going to go backstage, and interview "The Stone":
Q: So, that was some tour, huh?
A: Yeah. Whew. I thought I had gotten lost in there, man. I was just hangin' out, getting ready to
attach myself to something, forever, ya know?
Q: It felt like you were burning something in there. What was that?
A: Oh, sorry, Bro, It was pretty dark, and I had to light my Zippo a few times, so I could see.
Q: What did you need to see?
A: Well, I carved my name a few times, and wanted to make sure it looked OK.
Q: So that is where the blood came from.
A: Yep. Well, mostly. I had a few stapling projects to do in there.
Q: Ok, well, that hurt.
A: ... (lights cigar)
Q: No, I mean it REALLY hurt.
A: You know, you are starting to sound like a little bitch (making crying noises) Wah wah wah..it hurt..it hurt. Get over it, already.
Q: I am beginning to see why you have such a bad reputation.
A: Hey, that's just how I roll, son.
Q: Can we expect any future tours?
A: Well, not from me. I am out of the business. But I do have a few brothers, and some cousins who might step up, at some point.
Q: Why do you do it? I mean, what is the purpose?
A: Haters gotta hate, lovers gotta love, you know what I'm sayin'?
Q: No.
A: Whatever. Fuck you, man.
Q: You are quite hostile
A: Aw, man, this interview is over. No more questions.
And, with that, he ran across the street, turned around and gave me the finger, and then was gone.
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